Raising two special kids can be a challenge, especially when one is “pre-teen” and the other is "pre-K”. Some days I’m so exhausted; I don’t want to repeat myself one more time, I feel like a piece of taffy being pulled this way and that, I notice my ASD child’s behavior is showing signs that he has had a food “infraction” and I don't feel I have the energy to deal with the situation, my FAS child has misplaced his multiplication chart and continues to walk around complaining, “I don’t want to do school”, etc… I could continue on and on, and there are other Moms of special needs kiddo’s that may have experienced some of the same frustrations and feelings of giving up. When other things in your life are tough too, it is recipe for disaster!
This season I’m in has been very difficult and this week all hope seemed lost. I was ready to give up homeschooling, but knew in my heart that it wasn’t the answer. “But it is so hard and he is fighting me at every turn” I whine. “I just yell all day and I’m miserable and so unhappy”. I could go on and on, but how will that help the situation? It won’t! I am blessed to have friends, family and seasoned homeschool parents that were there for prayer and to help me to refocus on that which has “eternal” value.
Thoughts and scriptures circled about in my head, and I committed to several people, including my husband, that I was not going to yell anymore. If my son began to whine and carry on and my blood pressure starts to escalate, I would just walk away and regroup. One of the words I kept hearing in my head was “whatever” followed by “things are true, whatever things are lovely” and a light bulb went off in my head (not like I hadn’t been told this before). I am focusing on the negative and being dragged down by the circumstances in my life. Then I looked up the scripture and read “whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, and whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy — meditate on these things.”(Phil.4:8)
So the last two days I have worked to think on the praiseworthy things in my sons, and there are so many things that are praiseworthy, first of all because they were created by God for His purpose and that in itself is enough. However, through the day, I find myself thinking “whatever” when I start getting frustrated. The last two days have been so much better, and my circumstances have not changed, and my children are the same, but what has changed is what I am setting my mind on. The Lord created these boys and my sons are creative, funny, sweet, loving, they love to sing, and read the Word together, they are smart and see things that I often overlook, they love people and I could go on and on. I’m thanking the Lord for them more and realizing what great kids they are and what a privilege it is to be their Mom. So if you are feeling like there is no hope and you want to give up, just remember to tell yourself “whatever” and think on those things.